Let Me Stare at the Dancing Leaves

Let me stare at the light and feel grateful.

For the dancing leaves.

Before they fall.

For the graceful branches, reaching – o so elegantly, for the sun. For nourishment. For how good it feels to reach and feel satiated.

Let me stare at the dancing leaves, as they sway in great numbers, falling like grass skirts, swaying to the music of the wind.

Let me stare at the leaves and feel grateful for the sun that lights up my living room.

It shows me each color brightly – my books, my paintings and these objects I call mine. The clarity feels like a dance. My eyes take it all in, and tell my brain that yes – anything is possible!

It makes me sit up and breath a little deeper.

The sun tells me to look.

See the way I shine through the many shades of green. Did you know there are so many shades of green? I will show you, says the sun.

Do you notice the many flowers in burgundy and marigold? The new fuchsia roses forming their dresses of light velvet that embrace their thorny stems, as they stand regally, protecting their precious gems of the earth.

Do you notice the furry nipples of the daises? The grass, darker now, but how fresh it can smell when you cut it.

Feel that breath descend through your body.

What do you smell?

What do you hear?

A car door close. A man break out into laughter. A car whoosh by.

A bird begins to sing.

Do you feel nature’s joy as the sun embraces all who it blankets in love and warmth?

Do you see the elegant branches bounce gaily?

It’s Friday!

I welcome the weekend. We all welcome the weekend. You can feel the sigh of relief emitting from all the souls that surround us.

I swear Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire have reincarnated as the branches outside my window. There is no stopping them. Not even death.

What is this earth if not full of reminders of what and who we love? A poem written every day. Nature – a metaphor for what we can’t express in words.

Like fingers tapping on piano keys, the individual leaves perform a whisper of music with unencumbered ardency.

The little bird’s chirp is sweeter than a cup of tea with too much sugar in it.

I am grateful for you, my sweet.

Your smile. How you live with such a pure, full, unstoppable YES! Always!

How grateful for you I am.

Your brilliance. Your brightness.

Like a mother tree, I embrace you, but I can never hold on, anymore than we can hold on to summer.

You fly by, even while still in my arms! Even as I can feel your skin, I feel you dancing away.

And so, like the sun. I stare at you, and feel the fullness of gratitude. I replay you in my mind, eyes wide open as you dance through our home.

A performer. Perfect.

Every day with you is like a leaf, that will soon change colors.

But while we are both here, together, let me stare at you like the sun that fills my living room, and makes me see, every moment, like an object, like something I can see and hold on to.

Let me sit in gratitude, as we change colors and forms; because our love, like energy, will never die.

Let me keep reaching to you, as you reach for the sun, and sit in joy, when you reach for me.

The mother. The child.

The tree. The leaf.

Warmed by the sun… eternally.

You are my sun.

I am a living room, full of sunshine.

A full lit room. A full heart.

You are my heart.

You fill me with wonder my sweet.

So, let me sit in gratitude as I think about how you will grow, and change.

Each leaf, a day with you, imprinted with life-giving veins – all these memories I hold dear.

My little one.

For what is an appreciation of the sun without the knowledge that day will transform into night? The snow will come. The leaves will fall, and sprinkle the ground with their crunch. We know this.

Bold, majestic colors that spell winter.

And so I stare, grateful for this brilliant sun.

That fills my living room with light.

You are getting too heavy for me to carry.

And I know it’s good.

But, let me sit here and feel how I can be filled with so much gratitude, and yet feel loss lurking close by. Gratitude and loss sit entwined within me, like a fragile rose held up only by its trellis.


You are getting too heavy for me to carry.

How proud I am of you.

How can I be so filled by gratitude. How do I not break apart?

My body is supple and doesn’t break. But this change breaks the dam within me, and the water spills out from my eyes. But that’s ok.

Because although all of this is temporary, I can see it all. I can see it all clearly, because of the sun.

This bright golden sun.

I can see.

Even with these blasted glasses on my face that are constantly foggy, or falling off, or smudged; the sun makes all this rich beauty visible today.

You make me visible. I feel seen by you.

I feel seen.

So thank you for that.

Thank you sun.

You are my sun.

Thank you sun, for filling me up. For the nourishment and warmth.

For you my dear, I say, anything is possible!


5 thoughts on “Let Me Stare at the Dancing Leaves

  1. Poetry Angelique. Fabulous poetry. I’m sitting there in your living room, a participating spectator with an aching heart dancing in the warm, golden sun rays. Thank you for taking us on this mindful journey, this exquisite expression of gratitude, and for reminding us that these fleeting moments, these gifts in motion, are there for us to savor. May we see them. May we experience them in all their beauty, pain and glory. Thank you.

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